We are surrounded by ads, TV shows, and magazine articles that assure us that changing is easy. Take weight-loss as an example. The media say that all we need is a little willpower (and whatever they are selling, of course), and we will join the club of successful losers. My question is that if it is that easy, why isn’t everyone able to accomplish it? Lack of willpower, you would say. I beg to differ. The truth is that many people have a hard time sustaining change. It is not that they don’t want to change or that they don’t know what to do. The problem is adhering to their (own) plans. More often than not, people try to change too many things at once and end up getting quickly overwhelmed. Then they think, “I don’t know why I started this. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it. I’m such a failure.”
Be aware that the change process occurs in phases. First, to elicit the need for change, an event that gets you out of your comfort zone has to happen. It may be a medical report, a comment by a friend, or a good look in the mirror. This simple incident creates a state of dissatisfaction. At this point, you’ll start considering the need for change. Next, you begin gathering information related to the subject. Once you feel you have enough info, it is very likely that you’ll weigh the pros and cons of changing. If you feel that the change will benefit you, you’ll start reframing your mind, getting ready to take action. As the change becomes more appealing, you’ll explore your options and devise a plan. When you finally feel ready and confident, you’ll begin practicing the new behavior. Time passes, and as you perform the new behavior, you become more comfortable with it. Suddenly, you don’t need to think about it anymore because it became automatic. It became a habit.
It would be great if every changing process happened so smoothly. The problem is that we have a very strong opponent – our minds. Sometimes, an internal voice, known as cognitive distortion, can sabotage our efforts to succeed. Below is a list of the ten most common cognitive distortions. Being able to recognize these distortions may help you reset your mind and focus on your strengths.
- All or nothing mentality – People with this type of distortion tend to think in a black-and-white manner such as labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or behaviors as “right” or “wrong.” They believe that if they can’t change everything at once, then it is better not to change at all. Example: “I don’t eat bread because I read that it is bad for you.”
- Overgeneralization – In this cognitive distortion, people tend to exaggerate the outcomes, especially the negative ones. For them, one negative event becomes a never-ending pattern of defeat. Example: “I knew this wouldn’t work. I’m not cut out for exercise. I shouldn’t have joined the gym in the first place.”
- Mental filter – In this case, people choose to ignore the positive aspects of life and focus only on the negatives. Example: Even though Sally has been able to successfully engage in an exercise program for a month, she hasn’t lost weight yet. She may say “I will never lose weight” and choose to ignore all the positive outcomes she has had such as improved energy and better sleep.
- Discounting the positives – Here, people believe that their positive outcomes are not good enough, so they don’t count. Example: Jane meets a friend that compliments her on her looks – “Wow, Jane, you look amazing.” Jane may reply, “I have been working out but I haven’t lost much weight. I’m not sure it is actually working.”
- Jumping to conclusions – People with this distortion believe they can predict the future. They suppose that things will turn out badly even before they start. Example: “I’m not going to the gym because everyone will look at me and notice how clumsy I am.”
- Magnification or minimization – In this case, people transform a simple fact or event into something huge or minimize it as if it were insignificant. Example: “Oh my god, I have a headache. It must be a brain tumor.” Or, “I know that my blood pressure is kind of high (160/120 mm Hg)[1], but it’s not a big deal.”
- Emotional reasoning – Here, people use their feelings to guide their reasoning and actions. Example: “I’m feeling like I need chocolate today.” Or, “I’m so dumb. I can’t solve this problem.”
- “Should” mentality – In this type of distortion, people establish behaviors that they feel they should (or shouldn’t) be doing. They place too much importance on these events and tend to punish themselves when they can’t perform accordingly. Example: “I’m tired today but I should be ready to go to the gym anyway.”
- Labeling – People with this distortion “label” themselves based on their performance. If something goes wrong, they won’t be kind to themselves and say, “I made a mistake.” Instead, they believe that the shortcoming was caused by a personal characteristic, resulting in a mindset of “I’m a loser” or “I’m an idiot.”
- Blame – There are two different types of blame. The first one happens when people blame themselves for outcomes that were not completely under their control. Example: “It was my entire fault. I should have been there for her.” The second one occurs when a person blames others for their shortcomings. Example: “I ate too much at the party because you were not there to stop me.”
References
Gavin, J. Lifestyle Fitness Coaching. Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics. 2005.
Mantel, M. “The Art and Science of Enhancing Your Clients’ Well-being.” ACE Certified News. Available at http://www.acefitness.org. Accessed in April 2012.