You know how we can feel very confident one minute and totally inadequate the next?
Well, that happens because we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. It’s not as if we do this on purpose. It happens automatically in our unconscious mind.
You see, in order to process the immense amount of information that comes our way every second, the unconscious mind must find a way to filter what is relevant and important.
Whenever we receive information from the environment, the unconscious mind measures it against our standards and label the event. That’s what determines how we feel about an event.
But even though it is natural to make comparisons, it is not necessarily beneficial. Specially when your standards are off.
Using others as your benchmark is like comparing apples to oranges. Everyone has a completely different set of values and beliefs, and therefore choose to put effort into different areas of their lives, developing different skills and qualities.
And when you get into the habit of comparing yourself to others, you will end up falling in one of the following traps.
You either start looking for flaws in people, becoming extremely critical and judgemental in the hopes of feeling good about yourself. Or, you will become extra competitive, trying to beat anyone you meet but never being fully satisfied with your own achievements.
Either way you lose.
So in order to change this behaviour, we will need to change our internal programming. This means giving your unconscious mind a new set of rules, new standards.
So instead of comparing yourself to others, look at people for inspiration. Look at their achievements as a reassurance that it is possible to do better. When you see people as role models, your attitude changes. And if your attitude change, your emotions change.